Why do I want to become a dad
My upbringing was atypical. I grew up in many environments and cultures. From a village boy, an avid church goer, a studious kid, a musician, an athlete, a rebel teen, and an eternal nomad who lived in 11 cities for the last 14 years of my adulthood life, I'd say that my view of life is fairly different from others. This realization came when I find myself questioning the natural progression of life. ie. study hard, get into college, graduate, get a corporate job, get a nice car, find a girlfriend, get married, move to the suburbs, adopt a dog, and have kids. We are all wired to pursue happiness and this is the textbook story to a happy life. Although I did many of the things above, I defied as many as I could which resulted in so-called “rebellious” life decisions such as traveling for work every week, living out of my suitcase for 2 years, taking a 100 days off to go round the world, or buying an overpriced house in the city.
The decision on being a dad is definitely something that I have long considered and truthfully is one that I struggled with. Is this one of the defiances? It's not because I don't like kids, but it's more of the lifestyle that comes with kids. On one hand, I can totally see myself continuing with this nomadic lifestyle. I often find myself reading wanderlust articles on peeps working aboard, traveling the world, retiring at 45 and living on passive income on a thai beach somewhere. What is common denominator of these stories? No kids.
So why do I really want to become a dad? Here are a couple of reasons I could gather:
When Adeline and I took a trip around the world, I realized that I would rather spend money on experiences than material things. This is because memories of happy times last forever but happiness out of buying material things usually last for days. Raising a child and having that eternal father child relationship are experiences in life I want to have. Plus, it’s kinda fun raising a kid. It’s like playing tamagotchi but on level 99. When I’m on my dying bed, I know that I’ll look back at the different experiences I had in life. I’d be proud of making it in the USA, getting married to my amazing wife, running a marathon, traveling the world, and above all, I know that I’d be proud of being a dad.
Leaving a legacy. Call me self-absorbed, traditional, or egotistic but I find it important to produce a heir to the clan. Lol. In all seriousness, everyone wants to be remembered. I have an inner desire to be great and that keeps me motivated to achieve milestones in life. Having a kid is definitely one of the milestones and to memorialize these life accomplishments through generations, I can’t think of a better suited person to carry forward the torch.
Lastly, wanting to love and be loved. Humans are pre-wired with this desire. It is the ultimate condition for happiness. What better way to fulfilling this by bringing a child to earth. I will always love Marin unconditionally. I just hope that favor is returned when she grows up! This is probably the most important reason of all.
I hope that through all the ups and downs of raising Marin, I’d keep these reasons close to me so that I’ll always remember that Adeline and I decided to bring her to earth. She didn’t have a choice and therefore no matter how difficult it may be, I can’t hold a grudge against her.
